Monday, 29 October 2012

Missing you...

Reading this on the train back to Scotland and thinking of our own Becca again. Every now and again I dream about her, wake up having forgotten that she died and feel the pain all over again.

The people we lose are never really not on our minds, but Becca has been at the forefront of mine for some time now. When I'm in a darker mood I wonder if I exaggerate how much she meant to me, and how important to each other our friendship was. I feel like a fraud at times, berating myself with thoughts that, had Becca still been alive, I'd be no closer to her than other friends from that time in my life very few of whom I'm still close to.

On the better days I remember that she was one of few, if not the only person who could see that my relationship with the Boy was something different. We confided in her, and she encouraged us when others wrote us off as well intentions but deluded teenagers. We got married just over a week ago.

At the wedding many people finally saw what Becca had seen nearly 10 years ago when me and the Husband (as he shall now be known as) were just Boyfriend and Girlfriend. I wish she had been there to say "I told you so."

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