Monday, 28 January 2013


That's Harvey and Rabbit. It's unbelievably cute, and reminds me of something my Mum used to say when I moaned about my sister's best friend growing up (of whom I did not approve). In not so many words my Mum taught me that you can't choose who you love, and that our family and friends have to accept things about us that they don't necessarily understand, like why you stay friends with someone who is an arrogant, self-centred, unpleasant little twat. Oops. Sorry. I got a tiny bit carried away...

I've been thinking about friendship a lot of late. There's lots going on with my close female friends, and as happens periodically I've been reflecting on the way that relationships of all sorts can change without much warning. Sometimes this is a positive change, like finding unexpected common ground with a long term friends new partner. Or, it can be the opposite like suddenly realising that someone you were close to is not part of your life in the same way they once were. These changes can be slow and gradual, or explosive. 

I can  see a lot of change on the horizon and I'm not sure I'm really ready for all of it. That's just life though, and it doesn't wait for you to be ready. For most of these changes, like growing families and moving to other countries, there is a fair bit of warning. Almost exactly nine months in one case, and I'm secure enough in these friendships to know that change isn't something to fear and that change has only strengthened our relationship in the past. The most difficult change on the horizon is not the growing families, but the moving away. One friend left Scotland at the end of last year and despite not seeing her on a very regular basis before she moved, I'm missing knowing that she's only an hour away on the train. I've found it very disconcerting to be on campus knowing that neither her nor Husband is there anymore. (He's submitted and awaiting his viva, she's writing up back home.) 

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, except that there's been a lot of friendship/relationship stuff going on with me and my friends just now, and I wanted to try and write it out. That's as much as I have for a conclusion, so I'll leave this one to the void.

Goodnight, dead void...

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